You know it’s getting down to the wire when the THT editors are racing to jam in as many team previews as we have today. Mmmmm . . . regular seasonlicious . . .
Lisa Gray has five questions for the Houston Astros. Question number six: What’s the over/under on the number of days until some clever wag uses the “Houston, we have a problem” headline to describe this team? Seven? Twelve?
R.J. Anderson has five questions for the Tampa Bay Rays. Question number six: “Evan Longoria, your career has the momentum of a runaway freight train. What makes you so popular?”
Evan Brunell has five questions for the Baltimore Orioles. Question number six: Could Matt Wieters make a rock so big that he himself could not lift it?
Finally, over at Fantasy Focus, Jonathan Halket is asked to play roster doctor. Unfortunately, this patient has signed a DNR order, so there is nothing Jonathan can do except to make him comfortable until the end.
I can almost smell the grass, babies.
Hee. I love the Simpsons reference. There’s no moment in life that can’t be made better by a Simpsons quote.
If Matt Wieters faced off with Dr. Manhattan, who would win?
I think that Wieters would realize—even before Manhattan—that a live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there’s no discernible difference. That life and death are unquantifiable abstracts. “Why should I be concerned?” he’d ask, thereby refusing to fight Manhattan.