It’s A Funny Funny Game by John Brattain January 20, 2005 *1960* Missing one element of seeing World Series banners flapping in the wind…. Candlestick Park opens April 12th It doubled as a beanbag chair…. O’s manager Paul Richard’s designs a catcher’s mitt 50″ in circumference to handle Hoyt Wilhelm’s knuckleball Making an ass of the A’s…. Charlie O Finley buys the Kansas City A’s from the estate of Arnold Johnson Jerry saves…. Jerry Holtzman of the Chicago Sun Times helps initiate the crediting of relief saves Gerbilling…. Cubs trade Ron Perranoski and two other players to the Dodgers for Don Zimmer What have you Dunn? Pancho Herrera whiffs 136 times….an NL record for a 154-game season Check the job description dude… Elmer Valo walks 18 times as a pinch hitter *1961*A Hardball Times Updateby RJ McDanielGoodbye for now. What are you doing with that bottle Mr. Reilly? Roger Maris hits 61 HR Crazy eights…. Instead of a manager, the Cubs try eight coaches Eddie Waitkus would’ve shot himself…. Phillies lose 23 straight Bud Selig: “I didn’t do it!!!!!!!” All Star game ends in a 1-1 tie after rain hits Maybe he should’ve invested in air conditioner stock instead…. Ty Cobb dies *1962* The spirit of Dusty Baker… The Washington Senators’ Tom Cheney K’s 21 Orioles in 16-inning game Bo knows no-no’s…. Bo Belinsky no-hits Orioles on May 5 Pull the pitcher then pull my finger…. Pirates’ reliever Diomedes Olivo makes his major league debut at age….43 In this case, ‘DH’ could mean ‘didn’t hit’….. Cub pitcher Bob Buhl goes 0-for-70 at the plate for the season Control freak…. KC A’s Bill Fischer pitches 84.1 straight innings without issuing a base on balls Home cooker…. The Giants’ Billy Pierce has 12 starts at Candlestick Park and goes 12-0 Fitting in…. New York Mets’ pitcher Craig Anderson loses 16 straight *1963* Improving on imperfection….. Mets’ pitcher Roger Craig loses 18 straight Road worriers… Mets lose 22 straight on the road As seen on the ‘Home Shopping Network’…. Pete Rose wins the NL ROTY award Making the commentators life difficult…. On September 13, the Giants briefly have an outfield of Alou-Alou-Alou And he went on the DL with whiplash…. The Tribe goes back-to-back-to-back-to-back off Angel Paul Foytack Keeping Ty company….. Rogers Hornsby dies Why you should never sleep with the manager’s wife…. Astro John Paciorek goes 3-for-3 with 4 runs scored, 3 RBI, two walks in his major league debut….and never plays another ML game *1964* Perfecting futility… Mets are swept by Giants in 10.5 hour doubleheader Bunker mentality….. 19 year old Oriole Wally Bunker wins 19 and is out of the majors by age 27 Teeny bopper…. Tony Conigliaro blasts 24 HR and slugs .530 as a 19-year-old When substance abuse is the only logical solution….. Casey Stengel’s Mets lose 340 games over their first three seasons It seemed like a good idea at the time (seriously)…. Cubs trade Lou Brock, Jack Spring and Paul Toth to the Cardinals for Ernie Broglio, Bobby Shantz and Doug Clemens With a name like that, you expect perfection…. Giants’ Jesus Alou goes 6-for-6 on July 10 But not the last…. Masanori Murakami becomes first Japanese-born major leaguer Thurmanated…. Cubs Ken Hubbs dies in a private plane crash Gag reflex…. Phillies blow the NL flag after leading by 6.5 games with 12 to play If they’d won the World Series, they’d have shot him…. Yogi Berra wins the AL pennant as a rookie manager and is fired *1965* Jesse Orosco called him “Junior”…. Satchel Paige tosses three scoreless innings for the A’s against Boston. He is somewhere between 58-65 years old at the time Keep On Sucking…. Mets lose 112 games giving them 452 losses over their first four years Spiking the dinks…. Spike Eckert replaces Ford “Astor” Frick as baseball’s lackey, er….commissioner Baby boomer…. Boston’s Tony Conigliaro becomes youngest homer champ (32 HR) at age 20 Bats in the Blefary…. O’s Curt Blefary is named AL ROTY after hitting 22 HR Wouldn’t you have to eat 33 baseballs first?…. White sox catcher J.C. Martin is charged with 33 passed balls Salary crap…. The average salary in MLB is $17,000 Thou shalt not….not…. Gus Triandos retires with a record 1206 consecutive games without being caught stealing. His career number of SB? One Whatever works….. On September 3, the Dodgers use four pitchers to blank the Astros the day after they used three hurlers to shut them out *1966* It’s Miller time!…. Marvin Miller elected executive director of the MLBPA And the truth shall set you free…. The Yankees fire Red Barber after he points out the sparse crowd at Yankee Stadium DH my…. Braves pitcher Tony Cloninger blasts two grand slams on July 3 OK do it again!…. Reds’ Art Shamsky enters game as pinch hitter and ends up with 3 HR on August 12 *1967* Red Sox know Dick all…. Dick Williams leads Red Sox to “Impossible Dream” pennant Couldn’t they have called it a draw?…. NL wins All Star game in 15 innings. Tony Perez homers to win it. Was it a reward or a punishment?…. Mets trade Bill Denehy and $100,000 to Washington for Gil Hodges who will manage the Mets D’OH!!!!…. The Cubs’ Ken Holtzman starts the season 9-0 then is called into military service Great! Now we can pay A-Rod…. Television revenue hits $25 million Before BALCO…. The AL bats .236 Will hit-and-run for food…. The Mets use 54 different players over course of season Why?…. On September 16, the White Sox use four pinch runners in one inning *1968* Jugger-nots…. Astros beat Mets 1-0 in 24 innings on April 15 We’ll never see another…. Denny McLain (31-6) is first 30-game winner since Dizzy Dean How on earth did he lose nine games?…. Bob Gibson goes 22-9 with a 1.12 ERA Orel history…. Don Drysdale pitches 58 consecutive scoreless innings The slide of the Yankees…. The Bronx Bombers(?) hit .225 as a team One man gang…. Catfish Hunter of the A’s throws a perfect game and garners 3 hits and 4 RBI on May 8 As seen on e-Bay…. Pete Rose wins first batting crown Rick Reilly asked him to autograph a specimen bottle…. Frank Howard hits 10 HR over six games Memo to Leo Durocher: “bite me”…. Cubs catcher Randy Hundley catches 160 games *1969* Baseball, eh?…. MLB goes international as Montreal Expos begin play The owners celebrated Marvin Miller’s birthday by getting him a punching bag…. Bowie Kuhn hired as baseball’s commissioner When Flood-gate didn’t involve Roberto Alomar…. Cardinal Curt Flood sues organized baseball after being traded to Phillies Acting upon a common impulse…. Twins’ manager Billy Martin beats up own pitcher (Dave Boswell) Sunshine, daisies, and happiness….. KC Royals’ Lou Piniella wins AL ROTY When New York City officially ran out of virgins…. Joe Pepitone traded to Astros for Curt Blefary What’s next? The Red Sox winning the World Series?…. The Amazin’ Mets win the NL pennant and go on to upset the Orioles in the Fall Classic