The Red Sox Fan Loyalty Quiz

The 2004 Red Sox left many memories with the fans. (via Baer Tierkel)

The 2004 Red Sox left many memories with the fans. (via Baer Tierkel)

If you didn’t see it, the Cubs added a fan loyalty quiz to their playoff ticket lottery. It’s a good way to ensure the fans you actually want to be at the game get in, ensuring maximum family-friendliness and appropriate media coverage in October.

But Cubs president Theo Epstein, of course, came over from the Red Sox. So you shouldn’t be surprised to learn his former employers had something similar planned for this offseason. Granted, the Sox were out of the race by Memorial Day, but with a little digging, I was able to unearth the quiz they were going to use.

Take the quiz and see if you could have earned the right to buy $150 bleacher seats to a one-game Wild Card playoff started by, like, Rick Porcello. It’s the Red Sox Fan Loyalty Quiz! For further context, the team’s scores and commentary have been provided in parentheses.

1) The color of my Red Sox hat is:

  • Blue (10 pts)
  • Red (8 pts)
  • White (6 pts)
  • Green (2 pts)
  • Camo (0 pts)
  • Pink (-5 pts)
  • A visor with fake Guy Fieri hair (-10 pts)

2) Tom Yawkey is:

  • A worthy Hall of Famer (10 pts)
  • At least partially responsible for the Red Sox’ shameful racial history, and by extension their 86-year title drought (-5 pts: none of this thoughtful perspective crap)
  • A Boston street planner (-2 pts)
  • The guy who traded Babe Ruth for a copy of High School Musical (0 pts)

3) Match the former Red Sox personality to his reputation-damaging smear campaign (2 pts each)

  1. Ted Williams
  2. Terry Francona
  3. Manny Ramirez
  4. Theo Epstein
  5. Don Orsillo


  • A. Prescription painkiller problem
  • B. Shoved a clubhouse attendant
  • C. Regularly spat at fans
  • D. Wore a gorilla suit to avoid the media
  • E. TBD

4) Moneyball is:

  • Horribly out-of-date, as on-base percentage is fgtrfryvvb (2 pts: sorry, fell asleep typing this question)
  • Written by Billy Beane (0 pts: get out of here, Joe Morgan!)
  • Not as good as Fever Pitch! (10 pts)
  • Not as good as Trouble with the Curve! (-5 pts: no, just…no.)

5) The Green Monster is:

  • 37 feet high (8 pts)
  • Like 200 feet from home plate (0 pts: go away, Curt Schilling)
  • Weird and super dumb and an embarrassment to baseball and what’s with that damn ladder? (-5 pts)
  • Prime seating (10 pts)

6) Who was responsible for the most crushing loss in Red Sox history?

  • Mike Torrez (2 pts)
  • Bill Buckner (5 pts: but seriously, let it go)
  • Tim Wakefield (-5 pts: blasphemy!)
  • Tom Willoughby (2 pts…is that you, Peter Gammons?)
  • I’ve only been following since 2004, I don’t know who any of those people are (10 pts: welcome aboard!)

7) Joe Morgan is:

  • The Reds second baseman who got the game-winning RBI in the 1975 Series (10 pts: Anyone who puts this is probably cheating)
  • That insufferable ESPN guy they replaced with that other insufferable ESPN guy (3 pts)
  • The Red Sox manager in the late ’80s/early ’90s (8 pts)
  • That bullpen cop who celebrated Ortiz’s home run (0 pts, but good effort!)

8) What’s your favorite 2004 memory?


  • 70+: Insufferable lifer who cares too much about baseball but is willing to sell a kidney for playoff tickets. High priority.
  • 50-70: Bros who want nothing more than to pregame with ‘Gansetts, wear “Yankees Suck” shirts, and get in drunken fights. Low priority – back of the bleachers only, please.
  • 20-50: Knows their stuff – actually, a little too knowledgeable – and are the type to not root for a team, but “just cheer for a good game.” That’s great and all, but those guys don’t buy merchandise. Low priority.
  • 0-20: You know there are no scoreboard races here, right? Low priority.
  • Less than 0: Totally clueless, most likely to talk about charm and quirkiness and atmosphere, happily fork over $100 for a standing-room-only ticket and two beers, and leave after Sweet Caroline. HIGHEST PRIORITY.

A Hardball Times Update
Goodbye for now.

Bryan Cole is a contributor to TechGraphs and a featured writer at Beyond the Box Score. You can follow him on Twitter at @Doctor_Bryan.
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phillip cole
8 years ago

I want to be a writer for Hardball times. I’d like to get paid because I’m in harder times than I used to think possible. However, nothing stops me from writing about baseball and other matters of interest. On I did a long series of articles comparing the careers of Nolan Ryan and Ian McKellan (sandbars at low tide at the end of their careers and therefore wrongly classified as immortals. As I proceeded year by year through Ryan’s career I paused for other baseball developments and followed that with another long series about home run hitters in the Hall of Fame.
As for this article, I didn’t understand all the jokes and hoped for real Red Sox questions about team history, but I appreciate the effort. Don’t disgrace the name Cole.

Paul G.
8 years ago


Of course, I mean the survey. The team, no so much.

I’m somewhat surprised that there was no question on the origin of the name”Nomar”.

Jared Remy
8 years ago

2, 3, 4, 6, and 7 are hilarious. I laughed out loud! Can you think of any others?

Dennis Bedard
8 years ago

1967 was:
1. The year of the first Super Bowl (2 pts)
2. The year the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series (3 pts)
3. The Impossible Dream Year. (10 puts)

8 years ago
Reply to  Dennis Bedard

The year future All Star Third Basemen Scott Copper was Born! – 1,000 points

8 years ago
Reply to  Stephen

Ah, that would be TWO time All-Star Scott Cooper!

8 years ago

What player jersey do you sport when going to the game?

A. Teddy Ballgame or Yaz: +6 Points (Classic names but not getting the full 10 points without some creativity)
B. Johnny Damon/Jacoby Ellsbury: 0 Points (not wearing a jersey at all would be better than these defectors)
C. Customized with your name: -10 Points (anyone who puts their own name on the back of jersey is most likely wearing a pink hat while trying to start the wave in the 3rd inning and should be removed by ballpark security immediately)
D. Manny Ortez +3 Points (no you don’t know sports Mr. Kerry!)
E. Bill Buckner +1 (Larry David: Come on, Buck! I threw it underhand!)

8 years ago
Reply to  Hoff

Trot Nixon: +20 points

Bryan Cole
8 years ago
Reply to  Hoff

Questionable Jersey All-Star Team from the final home game of the season (I promise you I saw at least one person wearing every one of these jerseys over the course of the day):
C: Jason Varitek
1B: Kevin Youkilis
2B: John Valentin
3B: Mike Lowell
SS: Nomar Garciaparra
LF: Mike Greenwell
CF: Jacoby Ellsbury
RF: Trot Nixon
DH: Victor Martinez
Bench: Dave Roberts

SP: Curt Schilling
SP: Roger Clemens
SP: Tim Wakefield
SP: Josh Beckett
SP: John Lester
RP: Jonathan Papelbon

8 years ago

Who is identified with uniform number 25?

a) Jackie Bradley, Jr. (+3 pts)
b) Mike Lowell (+5 pts)
c) Troy O’Leary (+4 pts)
d) Don Baylor (+1 pt)
e) Tony Conigliaro (+10 pts)
f) Manny Ramirez (-20 pts)

8 years ago

Which star third basemen of the future is redeemable for Burger King Kid Meal toys?
A) Scott Cooper
B) Will Middlebrooks
C) Shea Hillenbrand
D) Brock Holt!

Triple points if you can know the career B-WAR/ All Star Appearance of that Group.

Doug Lampert
8 years ago

Sorry, the scoring on number 8 is wrong. NOTHING beats Manny cutting off the throw. Although I would not have been able to tell you that was in 2004. (I thought it was a later year actually, did Manny cut off multiple throws from CF to the infield while playing left?)

Bryan Cole
8 years ago
Reply to  Doug Lampert

Yup, July 21, 2004. Let’s throw that link up here, as a reminder of happier(?) times.

Paul MacDonald
8 years ago

Jim Willoughby, not Tom. You may have failed the quiz.

Paul MacDonald
8 years ago
Reply to  Paul MacDonald

Or passed, as the case may be.

8 years ago

For years the numbers 9-4-1-8 at Fenway meant:
– the day before the first game of the 1918 World Series (+10 pts, you’re a heavyweight conspiracy theorist)
– the scoring play that erased Enos “Country” Slaughter to clinch the ’46 Series (-15 pts, was the Kool Aid good?)
– the shortest route to Pawtucket’s McCoy Stadium (+5 pts, you still have a sense of humor!)

Cater’s Corner:
– described Danny’s play at 1B in 1972 as he won his 4th straight Gold Glove
– is the direction the black cat took when he jinxed the Sox’ pennant chances on August 31, 1966
– is the bar where Sparky Lyle learned he had been traded to the Yankees.

Chris D.
8 years ago

I sport a #37 Bill ‘Spaceman ‘ Lee jersey. Proudly, I may add.

8 years ago

Who cost the Red Sox the most World Championships?

A) Harry Frazee (for selling Babe Ruth to the Yankees) -15. Time to let the poor soul rest in peace.

B) The Axis Powers (for starting World War II just as Boston was poised to surpass the Yankees as the dominant A.L. Club) +5. Red Sox and Cardinals might have met in three straight fall classics.

C) Jack Hamilton (for beaning Tony
Conigliaro) +5. ’67 probably, but Orioles in 69-71 probably unstoppable.

D) Charlie Finley. +20

Charlie O educated players on what their contracts were really worth when he bungled Catfish Hunter’s contract.

That set into motion a chain reaction that led to free agency just when the Red Sox had assembled the best team in baseball of the 1970s.

(Yes, including Cincinnati)

No Catfish in NY in 1975 leads to quicker firing of Bill Virdon (Yankees went through a 4-10 stretch when they only won when Hunter started. No manager survives a 14 game losing streak with Steinbrenner as owner and that means no Billy Martin as manager that year since he was still Rangers manager if Virdon gets canned in May. Red Sox then win East in rout, Rice gets a day off in September and avoids the HBP, Red Sox win WS in 6 with Fisk’s HR.

8 years ago

And just to show how this works out for 76, 77 and 78…

Rico Petrocelli decides to retire with a ring so when Finley dials the 617 area code looking to swap Sal Bando straight up for Fergie Jenkins right after the Red Sox acquire him, it’s a done deal.

With a World Championship, whatever Jean Yawkey held against Dick O’Connell is smoothed over. (The long-time GM retains his position under the new management group formed not long after Tom Yawkey’s death, a group that includes Red Sox legend Dom DiMaggio. A few years later Haywood Sullivan is hired away by the Yankees.)

Without Billy Martin as manager urging that Bobby Bonds be traded, the Yankees are way behind the curve. So the California Angels, desperate for a slugger, agree to the winter meetings offer from Milwaukee: they send newly acquired Jim Spencer, Mickey Rivers and Roger Moret to the Brewers for George “Boomer” Scott. (which was basically why they acquired Spencer in the first place, to trade him)

“Wait” you say. “Wasn’t Moret traded by the Red Sox to Atlanta for Tom House?”

No, not in this timeline! The Angels were also about to acquire Moret simply in order to make the trade with Milwaukee. (Since the Red Sox were seeking a lefty, it was probably Mickey Scott who the Angels were going to send to Boston.)

In actuality, the Angels heard rumors about Bonds becoming available and that was that.

But with the Yankees now failing to acquiring Ed Figueroa (not to mention Mickey Rivers as well), they can’t afford to trade Doc Medich to Pittsburgh. In fact, that is why they made trade with the Angels – to acquire Figueroa more so than Rivers so that they could trade Medich. Having to keep Medich means no Willie Randolph (and no Dock Ellis and no Ken Brett who was parlayed for Carlos May). Pittsburgh sends the talented AAA prospect to Minnesota along with Richie Zisk (and probably Ellis, too) for Bert Blyleven.

(The Twins had tried to get Randolph since they were planning on moving Rod Carew to first base and were interesting in moving Blyleven if the right deal could be made and the Bucs had expressed an interest in him. After failing to make a deal with Pittsburgh, they sent Danny Walton to acquire the Dodgers AAA second baseman, Bob Randall/)

Result? Yankees finish third in 1976 and whoever Steinbrenner hired to replace the guy he hired after firing Virdon gets fired, too. Martin? He’s probably managing for Bill Veeck in Chicago after Chuck Tanner was fired when the 1975 season ended.

So it’s Cecil Cooper who hits a dramatic 1976 pennant winning homerun off KC reliever Mark Little. And since the Red Sox won the 1975 World Series on Fisk’s game six HR, there’s no game seven heroics by Tony Perez for the Reds, who were actually actively trying to trade the popular first baseman (and later did after winning the 1976 series). So Perez is traded a year earlier and the Reds fail to win the west. Philadelphia beats the Dodgers but then bows to Boston in the World Series.

Of course, with no free agency, we know what happens in 1977. The Yankees are watching the post season on ABC.

When it’s over Charlie Finley trades manager Chuck Tanner to the Pirates and hires Billy Martin. (Yes, Reggie Jackson would still be in Oakland since he’s never traded to Baltimore after the Seitz free agency ruling since there is no free agency ruling.)

In 1978, Bucky Dent is having another unremarkable year with the White Sox and never acquires an infamous middle name. Meanwhile, the Red Sox beat the Royals for a third straight ALCS and win a fourth straight World Series when they score the winning run on a misplay by Dodgers’ left fielder Bill Buckner.